Me: Hey, I like your jacket! I wish I could pull off red.
My friend: Thanks! Yeah, it’s a great jacket for winter and fall, but it gets too warm for the spring…
Me: Yeah, sometimes it is too warm to wear long sleeves in the spring or summer. You could always just tear the sleeves off. They should invent a jacket without sleeves!
My friend: You mean a vest?
So there is a graduation being held at my university this weekend and they recently covered the football field with a giant tarp. Today it rained.
GIANT SLIP N SLIDE.
Source: cloysterbellOut of context Harry Potter quotes are the best things ever.
- “Tired of walking in on Harry, Hermione and Ron all over the school, Professor McGonagall had given them permission to use the empty Transfiguration classroom at lunchtimes.”
- “Stars winking in front of his eyes, he grabbed the top of the hat to pull it off and felt something long and hard beneath it.
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
JESUS CRUST
(via whisperturnbell)
Source: freshbump.com
“The band has had a few different names over the years. We started we were Teddy Bear Suicide, but then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Uh. Then we were God Hates Figs… we went back to Mouse Rat, and now we are Scarecrow Boat.”
↳ S01E06, Rock Show
(via defiantbritta)
Source: westwicks
